Monday, 10 February 2014

The New Year Project: Life without failure?

What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
Day 5 of Toni's New Year Project

Honestly? The first thing that came to mind was… Medicine. I would become a doctor. But saying that makes me a little sad. Do I really still feel that way?

Yes, yes I do.

I would study, and do really well and become a super awesome doctor that would save the world, one patient at a time. I would open up a practice medical centre that would focus on wellness medicine incorporating the various forms of alternative and homeopathic practices. Each doctor, and allied health practitioner will focus on taking care of patients holistically. We would strive to make sure that patient care is individualised. Our aim would be to empower them to take control of their own healing.

But all that just feels like an empty dream. The one that got away…

I know that I shouldn't be thinking about it like this, but maybe it is too soon to expect myself to be OK. A lot of my time is spent wondering what my next step should be. Wondering whether I should try to get back somehow. But at the same time I'm just so afraid that no matter what I try, it will never happen.

I also know that I should be grateful for this time that I have now to rest and be free, but I can’t help worrying that this is just time wasted. Every day that goes by and I become more and more aware that I have accomplished nothing. I already feel stuck.

And I don’t know what to do to. I don’t know how to heal without regretting the past. Without feeling guilty.

Nonetheless, I will keep being as positive as I can be, taking each day at a time. 

Please feel free to comment below.
Check out the page, The New Year Project, for the complete list.

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