tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86331617780286879642024-02-07T16:14:41.494-08:00Partly Cloudy Skies ♥ An outward expression of my heart ♥Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.comBlogger373125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-49803181091076132982023-04-26T03:46:00.003-07:002023-04-26T03:46:46.374-07:00Starting over<p style="text-align: left;"> For the longest time, I have been contemplating how to get back into blogging again. I love the site that I created way back in 2011 because it holds so many memories and sentimental pieces. I'm filled with nostalgia looking through it. Seeing my words on the screen takes me back to those times and reminds me of the young woman that was making sense of the world and seeking connection. Back then, my blog was anonymous and I didn't share it with anyone in my life. I was afraid of appearing vulnerable with my honesty and felt anxious about being criticized and judged. I also felt that it would be too revealing and I would feel limited to post freely. </p><p style="text-align: left;">I feel anxious a lot of the time. Over the past few years, especially, I have been working through it and challenging myself to overcome the fear. Now I am realizing that maybe the fear and anxiousness will always be there to some extent, but that doesn't need to put me off the task. I'm working on recognizing the fear and doing it anyway. I'm also constantly reminding myself that there isn't one "right" way to do something and that perfection doesn't exist.</p><p style="text-align: left;">So while I figure out the right next step, I will be brave and be open to all possibilities. </p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #e06666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Please feel free to say hi or leave a comment! :)</span></p>Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-47055702906392046822017-07-06T06:15:00.000-07:002017-07-06T06:15:25.719-07:00Day 6: What do I need less of?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><a href="http://www.bohoberry.com/introducing-boho-berry-challenge/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="254" data-original-width="1022" height="79" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkOMCDepqUbAj67SW4yy2zreKRKWsbYSQbKFv9ASTtdn0dzH8w4Md92UVcBGZFwEm9JCswMDhK0L5tHQcfR2DWfr1s1KG8jcw8g-0AlRvFnhJJQCBZfi3uQPorVQJDNnwNYP0ElOcwd_0/s320/boho+july+challenge.png" width="320" /></span></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.bohoberry.com/introducing-boho-berry-challenge/" target="_blank"><br /></a></td></tr>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Day
6: What do I need LESS of?</span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><i>1) </i></b><b><i>Atelophobia.</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The fear of <i>imperfection</i>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The fear of never being good enough.</span></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></i></b></div>
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<i style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">2) Self-doubt.</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">No more second-guessing who I am and what I am capable of achieving.</span></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">3)</span></i></b><b style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"><i>Insecurities</i></b><b><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> .</span></i></b><br />
<b><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></i></b></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">4) Shame.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Living with shame only brings us down. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Accept that the past happened.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Acknowledge mistakes and <i>learn </i>from them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Then - </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>Let it go.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Move forward. </span></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><i>5) </i></b></span><b><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Negativity.</span></i></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Time to focus on the glass being half-FULL. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkCqzux99mU9d6i3_ExNtlAmxv8bjuWDHALBElt7zjjqTwtynG4GNUrVI4nSBPDp6yxyupjEZqZ0EzecG873bDzgXIvdsac8Ig2U0BSntv1flVpORzxEQFioHeZFMNuGtayxL8qtX0X1Y/s1600/anais+nin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="514" data-original-width="564" height="363" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkCqzux99mU9d6i3_ExNtlAmxv8bjuWDHALBElt7zjjqTwtynG4GNUrVI4nSBPDp6yxyupjEZqZ0EzecG873bDzgXIvdsac8Ig2U0BSntv1flVpORzxEQFioHeZFMNuGtayxL8qtX0X1Y/s400/anais+nin.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<div style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #e06666;">***</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #e06666;">Please feel free to say hi or leave a comment! :)</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #e06666;">Follow the link in <a href="http://www.bohoberry.com/bohoberrychallenge/" style="color: #164877; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">BohoBerry </a>image to check out the details of this challenge.</span></div>
</div>
Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-26794745386123018022017-07-05T07:06:00.002-07:002017-07-05T08:01:37.325-07:00Day 5: What do I need more of?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><span style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><a href="http://www.bohoberry.com/bohoberrychallenge/" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="254" data-original-width="1022" height="79" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp6KMPQxlVnSJIn_bQhvj9wFSH1lFt1C_XO1VZyXn2eByEP5B0s-Nb5t0h1TYaLtdAVVJWA5LH0MEbDmhftIAD9dC6D92GAjdzv01TtRD01qRjHAWf5nTOwxuF6Cpa2e1Tf1BWpwmV81Q/s320/boho+july+challenge.png" width="320" /></a></span></td></tr>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Day
5: What do I need more of?</span></span></u></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><i>1) Self love.</i><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid0M5nXdh3m5PLOddIfmBUK_F9m3XOFOsO8G6e66ZlKxpwR20FpiyH0XYaakz0WhGEQhOqROyeDj5AEnp3f6vPFk-W_PYMlBk-6_NwKgp3XZDRgyDZytmlO5MGisYcIsQt_et2jjTLiwk/s1600/so+much+love+in+yourself.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="421" data-original-width="564" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid0M5nXdh3m5PLOddIfmBUK_F9m3XOFOsO8G6e66ZlKxpwR20FpiyH0XYaakz0WhGEQhOqROyeDj5AEnp3f6vPFk-W_PYMlBk-6_NwKgp3XZDRgyDZytmlO5MGisYcIsQt_et2jjTLiwk/s320/so+much+love+in+yourself.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"></span></div>
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I need to value
myself more.</div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">Lately I’ve
been trapped in this cycle of giving people what they want, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">even though I
know it hasn’t been good for me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">I need to love
all the parts of myself,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">and be gentle
with the parts that are struggling. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">This also means
understanding that there will be both good days and bad days; <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">things that
come easily, and things that may take time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">I’ve learnt
that loving myself is a choice <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">that I must
make every single day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><i>2) Confidence.</i></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">In my
abilities. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">In who I am now
and the woman I am becoming. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">In my future –
that the best is yet to come!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><i>3) Faith</i>. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">Increasing and
unconditional - for every situation or season. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9kPBWfZ_SBStoQzefLmisIAxJOiYiy1tABadVFsL7LhhAvaQQ3B9Yskm-N4AfRESWwiexZCFLtU-ecDcC2GT8EDGN3I7sZdPuSLqXZq8qhT2p604-kHBDF3-5Lrjx0ZD-CUXcRbBcJhU/s1600/isa+40.31.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="729" data-original-width="564" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9kPBWfZ_SBStoQzefLmisIAxJOiYiy1tABadVFsL7LhhAvaQQ3B9Yskm-N4AfRESWwiexZCFLtU-ecDcC2GT8EDGN3I7sZdPuSLqXZq8qhT2p604-kHBDF3-5Lrjx0ZD-CUXcRbBcJhU/s320/isa+40.31.jpg" width="247" /></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><span style="color: #e06666;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><span style="color: #e06666;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><span style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><span style="color: #e06666;">Isaiah 40:31</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><b><i>4) New Adventures.</i></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">F</span>or the first time in a few months I've been home bound - which has been good for me. But now I long for trying new things and making new discoveries.<br />
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<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #e06666; font-size: x-small;">Please feel free to say hi or leave a comment! :)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #e06666; font-size: x-small;">Follow the link in <a href="http://www.bohoberry.com/bohoberrychallenge/" target="_blank">BohoBerry </a>image to check out the details of this challenge.</span></div>
</div>
Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-49296801422168593042017-01-22T02:51:00.000-08:002017-01-22T02:52:48.546-08:00It wasn't just a dream<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Have you ever experienced something</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">so wonderful: -</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">so brief and fleeting;</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">all consuming,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">that took up so much space in your mind and heart</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">and that was such a big deal in that moment?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">But then when you think about it later;</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">a few hours,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">a few days, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">a month,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">or a year,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">you wonder if it ever even happened at all?</span>Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-83457319506223650282016-11-01T12:34:00.001-07:002016-11-01T12:34:44.237-07:00Open Wounds<h1 style="background-color: #eaeaea; border-radius: 4px; border: 1px solid rgb(43, 43, 43); color: #2b2b2b; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 10px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>"Not everyone is okay with living like an open wound. But the thing about open wounds is that, well, you aren't ignoring it. You're healing; the fresh air can get to it. It's honest. You aren't hiding who you are. You aren't rotting. People can give you advice on how to heal without scarring badly. But on the other hand there are some people who'll feel uncomfortable around you. Some will even point and laugh. But we all have wounds." </i></span></h1>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i><b>-Warsan Shire-</b></i></span></div>
Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-85378355392901298422016-10-19T14:37:00.000-07:002016-11-01T12:36:53.416-07:00Fears and longing<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">My mentor shared this with me last month. It is a quote from <b><i>Matt Licata</i></b>:<u></u><u></u></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">“The fear of being abandoned. The shame in being rejected and not seen as you are. The terror of being alone. The anxiety of being dependent on another. The panic of unbearable vulnerability and exposure. The dread of the looming death of yourself and everyone around you. These are the great fears that come as you wake, as you fall asleep, and as you wander along the path of the heart. But, perhaps the greatest fear of all is the fear of being loved, the dissolving of the trance of unlove once and for all. For when you are truly loved, when you are entirely seen, when you are fully held, it is the end of your world as you know it. Life is always seeing you in this way. If you will allow this revelation in, you will never be the same again. You will no longer be able to pretend that you are other than radiant and whole as you are. You will watch in astonishment as the spell of unworthiness is dissolved in front of your very eyes.<u></u><u></u></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">While it may seem that this is what you are truly longing for, please consider the consequences of the death of this ancient dream. The game is over. Dare to see that you were never unhealed; that nothing is missing, and that you are fully alive, now. Not after you ‘heal your past’, find your soulmate, manifest a conscious job, get into a ‘high vibration’, or replace the burning with joy. Allow the dream of postponement to end, now. For you are here. You are present. Your raw heart is beating. Your senses are online. Allow the unlovable one, the unworthy one, the ‘broken’ one, and the ‘unhealed’ one to fall away into the soft, tender vastness that you are. To let in the implications of this is utterly exhilarating. And completely terrifying simultaneously. One world is ending so that the true world may appear from behind the clouds of separation. The world of love is here…..now.”</span></i></div>
Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-64003083727377346432016-10-17T04:16:00.000-07:002016-10-21T02:38:22.667-07:00Vulnerability<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><b><span style="color: #cc0000;">"To be vulnerable is to be alive."</span></b></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><b><span style="color: #cc0000;"><br /></span></b></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">For the longest time I’ve
been struggling to let people get close enough to see the parts of me that hurt, to
see the parts that still feel broken and still need repairing. I have been
reading Brene Brown’s work on wholehearted living, and have started to realise
that it is only when we open up to others in this way that we can truly connect
and be our truest selves.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">In <i>Daring
Greatly</i>, Brene discusses the results she obtained from different people when
asked what vulnerability means to each one personally. I gave this some thought and wrote down everything that came to mind. No filtering or
overthinking. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiurUQiFZVd9NINB33M2yahEQ6uFrYC-c2PptKsfYldWrpxafjg9bTTJWBZ2yqYJLcT_WWoQXJidAxwLZKsBP-pxU2BNLyrw8Yg_kq6DknDSxvjrlVie6I6DEdKXZAk7hi5ji-xWy3I0VA/s1600/6352b3054bc7fb6ca768d155b189fdf4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiurUQiFZVd9NINB33M2yahEQ6uFrYC-c2PptKsfYldWrpxafjg9bTTJWBZ2yqYJLcT_WWoQXJidAxwLZKsBP-pxU2BNLyrw8Yg_kq6DknDSxvjrlVie6I6DEdKXZAk7hi5ji-xWy3I0VA/s1600/6352b3054bc7fb6ca768d155b189fdf4.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"> </span><b><u><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">For me vulnerability is:</span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Allowing
someone to see the real me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Being loved<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Taking risks<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Standing in my
truth <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Making new
friends<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Maintaining
friendships<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Sharing my
writing with others<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Loving and
caring for someone<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Seeking
connection<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Exploring
sexuality <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Being sexy and
attractive<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Putting in
effort<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Being
ambitious<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Asking for
help<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">This is quite a list but I have started making some progress into understanding and accepting it. Some things I find easier to do than others. Some days allowing myself to seek these things feels fine,
and completely doable while other days I find it a bit more challenging. I often struggle to tell my friends that I am having a tough time, or that I am feeling
stuck and not good enough. Most of the time I am worried about how they would
respond to seeing this “<i>weakness</i>”. The mask that I wear most often is that
everything is </span>OK<span style="font-size: 12pt;"> and that I have all my shit together. I want to be that person, but I kept falling short. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I am
learning more and more each day that vulnerability is the furthest thing from
weakness. As Brene says, <i><b><span style="color: #cc0000;">“Vulnerability
sounds like truth and feels like courage.” </span></b><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I remind myself that all we have
to do is take one tiny step in the direction towards what we want and eventually,
when we glance back, we’ll see how far we have come. This is what keeps me
going. </span></div>
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Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-28683553233991504672016-10-13T00:54:00.000-07:002016-10-13T00:54:11.106-07:00Love comes from within #Quote<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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#thingstoneverforget</div>
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<br />Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-9258253873069589422016-02-02T07:53:00.000-08:002016-02-02T07:53:07.129-08:002015 in Review<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A list of the good stuff that I would
like to take away from 2015 :) <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Better late than never!</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">1.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Started
studying Psychology!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">For the first time I can say
that I finished this year on a very good note and achieved really great
results. I enjoyed most of my modules this year and found the content very interesting.
There were a few ups and downs along the way, but in the end I am happy with
the way that this year went. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">2.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Became
a Peer Helper and got involved on campus <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">3.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Got
my driver’s licence!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Passing my driver’s test in
July 2015 changed my life for the better. It made life much easier for me and
my family and allowed me to have more independence. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">4.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Great conversations with my mentor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My mentor is an amazing woman.
I have mentioned her here and there in a few of my posts in the past. I am
truly grateful for her continued support and encouragement of the past year. We
have a monthly Skype session and she always makes an effort to fit me into her
busy schedule.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">5.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Met
interesting new people and made a few great friends.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">6.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Started
facilitating at Revive and became part of the team. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">7.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Started
working at a bookstore. </span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> My very first formal part-time
employment. </span></span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Looking forward to what this year has to offer!</i></span></span></div>
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Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-66911751690771959902016-02-01T06:56:00.000-08:002016-02-01T07:00:33.382-08:00Varsity countdown and Holiday Book Buys<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is
exactly one more week until varsity starts and I will officially be a 2<sup>nd</sup> year
Psychology student! It feels good to say that. I am really looking forward to
this year and am very excited to get back into the swing of things. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’ve been
on holiday for nearly 10 weeks now; which is not something that I am used to! I
spent most of my time working in December, and January. And as tiring and
frustrating as it sometimes is, it has been a good thing. It has given me a
chance to get out of the house, earn some of my own money, and meet new people.
I’ve also had the opportunity to build my interpersonal skills and develop a
good work ethic. Holiday jobs are definitely a great way to grow and learn more
about yourself too. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The
upside of working in a bookstore is, of course, being around these wonderful
and sometimes strange collections of words. And every now and again we are
lucky enough to catch a good deal right when it lands!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But the on the other hand, the downside of working in a bookstore is the
temptation to keep buying more books... It is a lot harder to resist them
calling your name from the overcrowded and lonely shelves, desperately wanting
to be rescued. And naturally, being the book-lover that I am, all I
want to do is save these poor books and give them a real home. So while I
couldn't save them all, I did manage to add these greats to my personal
library-in-the-making:</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Casual Vacancy</b> by <i>J.K. Rowling</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Rising Strong</b> by <i>Brene Brown</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Postmortem: The Doctor Who Walked Away </b>by <i>Maria Phalime</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Wild at Heart & Captivating</b> by <i>John and Stasi Eldredge</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>The Invention of Wings</b> by <i>Sue Monk Kidd</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves</b> by<i> Karen Joy Fowler</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Man's Search For Meaning </b>by <i>Viktor Frankl</i></span></div>
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Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-39907894923646779342016-01-30T05:07:00.000-08:002016-01-30T05:07:01.403-08:00We all have a story to tell<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://data.whicdn.com/images/34624271/tumblr_m4cqllbUAH1r6l7i8o1_500_large.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Tumblr_m4cqllbuah1r6l7i8o1_500_large" border="0" src="http://data.whicdn.com/images/34624271/tumblr_m4cqllbUAH1r6l7i8o1_500_large.png" /></a></div>
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arabic typesetting"; font-size: x-large;"><b></b></span></i><br />
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arabic typesetting"; font-size: x-large;"><b><br /></b></span></i><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arabic typesetting"; font-size: x-large;"><b><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "arabic typesetting"; font-size: x-large;"><b>Listen to everyone's story with an open heart and never judge or criticize them if they tell you their deepest, darkest secrets. It takes a lot of courage to open up like that because it exposes all your vulnerabilities and insecurities. </b></span></i></b></span></i></div>
Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-14193856267206075112016-01-29T07:29:00.000-08:002017-07-05T08:12:06.392-07:00Out of the shadows<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">My name is Noma. I am 26 years old, and I live with my family in Port Elizabeth, South Africa.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">I started blogging here many moons ago in 2011. Back then I was a struggling 2<sup>nd</sup> year medical student, had just ended a relationship and was feeling very homesick. </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">I needed someone to talk to during a time when I felt isolated. Writing and blogging was a means to express my feelings, emotions and insecurities without wondering how people would react to them. I didn't want to seem vulnerable or weak in the eyes of people around me. So instead I reached out to an anonymous world where I could be myself completely. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />Over the years I have come to understand that vulnerability does not mean weakness, and that it is something that many people struggle with. Vulnerability is beautiful, and it allows connection with others.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">I now feel as though this journey is not something that I need to hide anymore. Words are magical and have the power to heal and transform.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">This blog is an outward expression of my heart and represents and describes things that hold great meaning for me. Things that resonates with in my heart. Thank you for allowing me to share this with you.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic;"> Feel free to leave a comment or just say Hi! </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 18pt;"><b>J</b></span></div>
Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-19318082680288060412016-01-09T02:27:00.000-08:002016-01-29T02:32:53.533-08:00Happy 2016!<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">It has been quite a while since I last posted or updated my blog. So
many things have happened in the last year that have helped me to grow. Battles
have been waged, and battles have been won - but the fight is never over.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">I've been struggling to write, because
sometimes my mind works overtime, and I would rather it not make concrete the
idiosyncrasies that plague me. I would rather have the voices and feelings
silenced – even if it is only for a little while.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">I've been fighting against the desire to
hide. Hide my life. Hide my feelings. Hide my heart. Even though every fibre of
my being is longing to reach out. It has always been my knee jerk reaction to
retreat away from the outside world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">And so, I have been contemplating sharing
this blog, and coming out of the shadows of anonymity. I've been weighing up
the pros and the cons but I finally realise that I will never feel completely
comfortable being vulnerable with people. So, I should just do it anyway! More
on this to follow </span><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 13.5pt;">J</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-17941855041769190892015-06-02T01:55:00.000-07:002016-01-27T09:21:44.875-08:00Morph<div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline: none 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
I’ve been trying to change myself for the longest time.<br />
Trying to grow into something more.<br />
Trying to morph into the perfect form.</div>
<div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-top: 15px; outline: none 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
This girl in the mirror is not enough.<br />
She has never been enough.<br />
<br />
Day after day, I wait.<br />
Day after day I wait,<br />
but nothing ever happens -<br />
I am still the person I've always been;</div>
<div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-top: 15px; outline: none 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Feeling smaller,<br />
Slightly less than whole.<br />
Missing pieces<br />
broken off along the way.</div>
<div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 21px; margin-top: 15px; outline: none 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
-N.M-</div>
Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-33761942862225955922015-05-13T01:32:00.000-07:002016-01-09T01:41:02.865-08:00Major update!<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Last time I posted, I was feeling really stressed out about not
yet having heard back from the university about studying this year... 2015 had not started off on a very good foot, and time was already flying by so
fast. The last thing I wanted was to spend another year like 2014!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">But a few days later I finally received my acceptance to NMMU, and
things started moving forward. I was really nervous about staring all over
again and I had no idea what to expect. I attended all my orientation
activities, chose my subjects and registered! It was a very weird feeling. I could
never have imagined being in this situation - studying in my home city, doing
anything other than medicine...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Regardless, I decided to see this whole experience as turning over
a new leaf. I was getting a chance to change the direction in which my life was
going. How often do we actually have the liberty to really start over? So, with
some encouragement from my mentor, I kept telling myself to take one little
step at a time, and look on the bright side of things. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Before I knew it things were moving full speed ahead. It must be
said that starting university again at 24 is a vastly different experience to
starting varsity fresh out of high school at 18. For one thing, I barely knew
anyone around me. And for another, I could approach this with the wisdom and
maturity that I gained from my previous experience. I feel more comfortable
interacting with different people, and competent with my academic abilities. This
is a pleasant change for me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">I look forward to the rest of this year and all that it entails.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div>
<br />
<br /></div>
Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-84025971933242530872015-01-18T09:24:00.000-08:002015-02-04T05:53:22.411-08:00Facing the unknown - again...<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 14pt;">This year has not started off on a great note. It has barely registered that 2014 has ended. Everything has just been so dull for the past couple of months and I have just been trying to get through to the other side - wherever that may be. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 14pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 14pt;">I'm still waiting to hear about my application status from the university.
To say that they are dragging things would be an understatement! I really thought that I would have heard back by now. I've tried calling them but they haven't been able to offer me any useful information. I just need to know what is happening - one way or another! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 19px;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 19px;">My anxiety levels have been rising for a while now. B</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 14pt;">eing stuck like this
again worries me, and I really wish that I had done more with last year to be better
prepared for whatever is still to come.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But wishful thinking
doesn't get you very far. I need to start actually making things happen for
myself instead of waiting around. I just </span><span style="font-size: 19px;">wouldn't</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> know where to start if it all
falls apart again – i.e. how to deal with another rejection... But I know that I
can’t go down that dark path right now. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">As hard as it is, I must be
patient and have more faith. I am not ready to throw in the chips just yet.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-3816672074888477712014-12-17T02:00:00.000-08:002015-01-29T09:09:29.859-08:00The truth hurts<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Days all
sift into one, and I can't seem to find any meaning in it
anymore. I'm awake
all night searching my heart for something more, trying to forget all the waste
that I have in my past. Memories
haunt me as every detail drifts into my mind unwelcomed bringing
up emotions I can't
control.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’ve now come to realise that the only way to
get closure is to see the situation exactly as it is, and not try to comfort myself
with a front.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The truth hurts
sometimes – no
doubt. But isn't living in pretense worse? Trying to placate myself only for the time being by spinning
stories </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">about
the reasons things happened, or why people feel a certain way won’t really help
me let go. I just have to accept it the way that it is. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-65142398318817798812014-12-10T06:09:00.000-08:002016-01-29T06:16:58.411-08:00The paths of our lives<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>The paths of our lives twist and turn around each other whenever the timing is right.</i></b></span><br />
<span style="color: red; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
miss you. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">But
I will not call you back in to my life </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">after
you have decided to walk out of it. </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">It
is time for me to accept that </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I
cannot fight to keep you here. </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Just know that you will always be loved </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">as a friend. </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-family: Segoe Print;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: 21px;">But it is under your control whether we keep in contact. There is always a choice. I</span></span><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> believed that you would always want a connection between us, but maybe after some time it didn't feel as important to you. </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Segoe Print;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 21px;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Segoe Print;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 21px;">I read a verse the other day, <i>"Depend not on other people"</i>. </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Segoe Print;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 21px;">It seems this is a lesson I must learn. </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-42386058255396950352014-11-27T13:04:00.001-08:002014-11-27T13:04:00.517-08:00Love at first sight?<p>I'm not the type of person you fall in love with at first sight. But I've been told that there is a lightness about me that draws people in. I want to believe this. Maybe I once did. But that was a long time ago. These days I feel as though I am a quite the opposite: a darkness from which everyone runs. </p>
Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-71067217549997411292014-11-27T09:39:00.000-08:002016-01-09T00:52:11.398-08:00Relationship stuff I'm not good with any of this relationship stuff. I keep most of my friends at a distance, and they do the same. And eventually it just fizzles out. I have tried so many times. But I just can't seem to get it right. So I think it might be a good time for me to just tap out.<br />
<br />
<br />Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-62003696281833278082014-11-24T14:52:00.000-08:002014-11-25T15:18:33.480-08:00Nostalgia<div class="vk_ans" style="background-color: white; font-size: xx-large !important; margin-bottom: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span data-dobid="hdw"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>nos·tal·gia</b></span></i></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<div class="lr_dct_ent_ph" style="font-size: large; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="lr_dct_ph">näˈstaljə,nəˈstaljə</span></span></div>
<div>
<div class="lr_dct_sf_h" style="padding-top: 10px; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;">noun</span></i></div>
<div class="xpdxpnd vk_gy" data-mh="-1" style="font-size: small; max-height: 0px; overflow: hidden;">
<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b></b><b></b></span></div>
<ol class="lr_dct_sf_sens" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;">
<li style="border: 0px; line-height: 1.2; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div class="lr_dct_sf_sen vk_txt" style="font-weight: lighter !important; padding-top: 10px;">
<div style="margin-left: 20px;">
<div style="margin-left: -20px; text-align: center;">
<div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;">
<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>"A sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations."</i></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</li>
</ol>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 14pt;">During church last night I was suddenly overcome by
an overwhelming feeling of nostalgia. It always makes me think of Hillsong
Church, and everything about my life back in Cape Town; aside from the studies.
I know that I can’t really compare the two churches because they are quite
different. But there is just something so much more vibrant about the atmosphere
at Hillsong. Walking
through those doors was exciting. People boldly lifted up their hands in
worship and danced during the more upbeat songs. And I felt more
comfortable expressing myself in that way too. Here, the atmosphere often feels a
little more subdued. People worship a little differently and seem a little more
serious.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It really </span><span style="font-size: 19px;">isn't</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> fair to compare these churches,
but I mourn the loss every time I hear a familiar song. But it’s not just the
church itself that I miss. I miss fellowship and the little cell group I belonged
to. I miss having people to connect with; even if it was just for a couple
hours a week. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">I also felt so safe on campus. I </span><span style="font-size: 19px;">didn't</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> realise that
until this year. I used to complain constantly about how isolated it was and
how closed off from the world I was. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">But right now, I’m kinda feeling like a tiny fish
plucked out it's fish bowl and placed back into the great big ocean. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span style="font-size: 19px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDDuLPtPXKcO3YVEIs8mq2ZpjIOvjcuoRcM3x95L0hn05OViW8AwpDxGsUKXBKVSDqpuV5P3dQ5D-e1YENbhLyBJfU5ggByp6TNvrOxVwVeeKXsdsEY7-ukvcGaCdel0_WPpGWoFIgz74/s1600/nostalgia.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDDuLPtPXKcO3YVEIs8mq2ZpjIOvjcuoRcM3x95L0hn05OViW8AwpDxGsUKXBKVSDqpuV5P3dQ5D-e1YENbhLyBJfU5ggByp6TNvrOxVwVeeKXsdsEY7-ukvcGaCdel0_WPpGWoFIgz74/s1600/nostalgia.png" /></a></div>
<o:p></o:p>Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-39687716795678428742014-11-22T13:15:00.000-08:002014-11-24T13:18:42.859-08:00These dreams keep me up at night<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The birds have started chirping; marking the end
of night and still I am awake. In the distance I hear the sound of what must be the horn of a ship going off every couple minutes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I still struggle to fall asleep these days, even though i am feeling completely drained. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I thought that I had started making progress and dealing with everything that this year has thrown at me. But not too long after some of the dust had settled, was it all just shaken up again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Someone recently told me that the only way to
get closure is to move on with your life. I'm not sure whether or not I believe
this statement. Maybe I just don't really understand what it means to really
move on. I have been holding on to so many different things from
my past. Have I ever really had any closure? My heart still feels weighed down.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My mentor reminds me that it is still OK to feel
this way; as though nothing really makes sense. She is the only person that I
feel comfortable showing my real feelings to. And although I am sure she is moved
by my pain, it does not change her life. This makes it easier for me. She allows me to
be who I am at that very moment. I don’t have to pretend or feel ashamed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: small;">Arthur Golden</span></i></td></tr>
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Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-28956158146185240762014-11-20T03:30:00.001-08:002016-01-09T01:57:51.525-08:00The doctor who walked away | Maria Phalime | TEDxJohannesburg<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/JeHqgambbcI" width="480"></iframe>Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-43096951799465486432014-11-19T08:35:00.000-08:002014-11-19T08:35:25.391-08:00Best Friend Rights and Responsibilities<div style="background-color: white; font-size: 20px; margin-top: 1em; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-weight: 700;"><u>"If you’re depressed, I will be there for you.</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As everyone knows, depressed people are some of the most boring people in the world. I know this because when I was depressed, people fled. Except my best friends. I will be there for you during your horrible break-up, or getting fired from your job, or if you’re just having a bad couple of months or year. I will hate it and find you really tedious, but I promise I won’t abandon you."</span></div>
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<img src="http://republicofbrown.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Mindy-Kaling1.jpg" /></div>
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<b style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Excerpt from Mindy Kaling's book <u style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; line-height: 16.7999992370605px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)</u> </i></span></b></div>
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Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8633161778028687964.post-90043718162995487172014-11-14T16:05:00.002-08:002014-11-24T13:20:28.075-08:00Resurfacing <div class="MsoNoSpacing">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">I have been avoiding this blog like the plague.
There are many reasons, but mainly because I just wasn't feeling up to
expressing all the thoughts that were going through my mind. I put my blinders
on and just wanted to get through this year. I was feeling overwhelmed with my
life, and very uninspired. But this week the inspiration has slowly been
seeping back into my bones and has taken over my heart once again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">And I must admit, it is a really good feeling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Another reason I couldn't write was because I
was getting over someone that I really cared about. It has finally sunken in
that he didn't have the same regard for our friendship as I did. I was
struggling to understand how things could have changed so drastically between
us in just a year. Every word I wrote spilled his name all across my page.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">I was uncertain if he was even still reading my
blog and I didn't want him in my mind, whilst I was still oblivious as to what
was going through his. I didn't want him to know how much he really hurt me.
But I have now moved on. There are too many things in my life to worry about.
He will not be one of them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">To be honest, I still miss him sometimes. But
life goes on. I have come to understand and accept that I am the type of person
that doesn't let go of someone very easily. As cliché as this may sound; I love
with every fibre of my being. No matter what kind of relationship we have. And
this is OK.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So, wherever he is, I hope that he is happy and
doing well.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Aside from that, I have been living in my own
bubble for the past few months. But I have made a couple really cool friends,
and things have started looking up a little for next year. There are still some
hard decisions to make, but this year is almost over. I can’t believe it!</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Nomahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17776851972330831834noreply@blogger.com0