This week we had to prepare a collage to be discussed in
our small group. The objective of the collage was to be a representation of my
life and of who I am. This could have been interpreted in any way.
I found it to be a little bit of a challenge trying to
organise the pictures I had gathered. I was determined to do it perfectly. Only
afterwards did I realise how my collage came out very structured. One of the facilitators
also noticed this and suggested that it might be because I don’t have much
structure in my life at the moment. And I think she was right. I was so focused
on trying to get the perfect layout and have it all aligned. My pictures were
also small, so there were a lot of different things going on, which made it quite
a mouthful to explain.
On the first page of the poster, I included some of the things I enjoy doing, such as reading, writing, cooking and baking, dancing, spending time with friends.
The bottom half represents the way I had been feeling for the past few years especially, and all that I had been going through. The masks I wear, feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, constantly fighting against time, lonely and stressed. I was hesitant to include all these images because I think I didn't want to face it all again, and have to share it with the group. But in the end, I was glad that I did. This section actually depicts the real me - behind the smile that I wear to hide all that is really going on.
This section on the middle page shows all the relationships I hope to have. I want to have a family of my own. I want to have that fairy tail wedding with the white dress. I want to marry a good and honest man that will love me unconditionally. I want to be a mother, spending lots of time with my family.
On the bottom of this page I included pictures of my past. Happy memories with friends and things that make me smile when I think back on those times. I also have a picture of the campus that had been my home for so many years. It left me feeling nostalgic, but also reminded me that my time at medical school was not all bad.
The last page included my aspirations, hopes and dreams. As you can see, this was quite a mouthful. But I am glad that I had the chance to share this with the group.
And now Love makes me fresh homemade chocolate cookies.
But Love will probably finish most of them for a midnight snack.
Love looks great in lingerie but still likes to wear her retainer.
Love is a terrible driver but a great navigator.
Love knows where she’s going,
it just might take her two hours longer than she planned.
Love is messier now;
not as simple.
Love uses the word ‘boobs’ in front of my parents.
Love chews too loudly.
Love leaves the cap off the toothpaste.
Love uses smiley faces in her text messages
And turns out,
Love shits.
But Love also cries.
And Love will tell you, “You are beautiful.”
And mean it.
Over and over again,
“You are beautiful.”
When you first wake up,
“You are beautiful.”
When you’ve just been crying,
“You are beautiful.”
When you don’t want to hear it,
“You are beautiful.”
When you don’t believe it,
“You are beautiful.”
When nobody else will tell you,
“You are beautiful.”
Love still thinks,
“You are beautiful.”
But love is not perfect,
and will sometimes forget,
when you need to hear it most,
“You are beautiful.”
Do not forget this.
Love is not who you are expecting.
Love is not what you can predict.
Maybe Love is in New York City,
already asleep.
You are in California, Australia,
wide awake.
Maybe Love is always in the wrong timezone.
Maybe Love is not ready for you.
Maybe you are not ready for Love.
Maybe Love just isn’t the marrying type.
Maybe the next time you see Love is twenty years after the divorce.
Love looks older now but just as beautiful as you remember.
Maybe Love is only there for a month.
Maybe Love is there for every firework,
every birthday party,
every hospital visit.
Maybe Love stays.
Maybe Love can’t.
Maybe Love shouldn’t.
Love arrives exactly when Love is supposed to.
And Love leaves exactly when Love must.
When Love arrives,
say, “Welcome, make yourself comfortable.”
If Love leaves,
ask her to leave the door open behind her,
turn off the music,
listen to the quiet,
whisper, “Thank you for stopping by.”
-Sarah and Phil Kay(e)
I absolutely adore this spoken word. I heard it for the first time over a year ago, at a time where I was struggling to let go of a relationship. I cried so many times listening to it, every time noticing something more that stood out for me. It highlighted most of the things that I thought love was, and what I expected it to be.
But it made me realise that love is never exactly what you expect it to be. And that there are a million different ways to love someone. I also realised that it was indeed possible to love more than one person in your life time. It helped me let go of the bitterness and just accept the relationship for what it was, and nothing more.
Every now and again, I listen to it, to remind me that even though love seems so far away, it may be closer than you think. But in the mean time, I know not to dwell on what is not, or what could be, but to rather just enjoy everything that is, in the moment.
you are here in this moment reading this letter. and that means so many things. first you should know that you are alive. recognize it. the falling and rising of your breath, the possibilities within your reach. the power you have to make this life all that you have wanted it to be. and you are blessed. blessed to know how to read and to have technology available to you. appreciate this and remember that you could lose it all. stay grateful. you should know that you are wonderful. wherever you are in your life, capture how beautiful it is– even if it is a struggle. how amazing it is that you have an opportunity to change? capture it and grow from it.
you may know so many things dear stranger, and i know that i have so much to learn from you. your life is a book i’d probably love to sit down and read over a hot cup of tea. my life has so many chapters, each day adding another page to my story. and if you ever get to a point you don’t like, start a new chapter. you’re the main character and we’re all rooting for you. change the ending. i think our individual lives are about deciding who we want to be and working to become that person- fighting for the person you have the potential to be. and i think it’s about being better today because of what you learned from yesterday. when amistake.failure.regret comes your way, embrace it. hold on to it, it is yours. you’re the only one who can experience it the way you did, the only one who can learn from it in the way that you will. your mistakes are turning points, see that and choose to do it differently next time. these things add depth, they develop and refine who you are. and each scar on your heart is oh, so beautiful. proof that you’ve lived.
and stranger, i’ve learned that you’ll only get to where you want to be by doing what it takes to get there. be willing to work harder than everyone else, understand that you will get there. and stop waiting to start— our somedays will never come. imagine how far you can go and how much you are holding yourself back by not taking action now. at the end of the day, your success is up to you. my life has taught me how to be open to being a beginner. you see, when you are a beginner you are a sponge, soaking up every little bit of information, expanding in every way that you can. and when you are a beginner, you challenge yourself to grasp what you don’t know and you are willing to refine your skills. wake up every day and be willing to do that. understand that you have so much left to learn. i hope to never become ‘the best,’ stranger. i don’t want to get to a point where i stop growing, learning, or changing. i want to always have something better to aspire to be. i hope you don’t stop at being the best either.
don’t rush love, stranger. it will come and it will find you. it might not be at the time you want it to be, but it will come in the exact moment you are ready. in my life i’ve learned that we sometimes get so busy trying to find someone to complete us, that we forget to realize that we are already whole. love yourself first so that it never comes down to you needing someone to love you. and always be grateful for the love that comes your way, even if it doesn’t stay forever. moments of love are beautiful, no matter how they turn out. let go of love gracefully and never allow it to cause hate or bitterness. take it in, give it out, and accept how people offer it. and stranger, remember that the people in your life won’t be here forever. spend time with them today, right now. tell them you love them, but more importantly, show them that you do.
you should know that one of my greatest life lessons has been one about kindness. that your actions and words matter and that kindness adds sweetness to life. i believe the way you respond to long lines, being cut off on the highway, and misadventures tells a lot about who you are. regardless of how people decide to treat you, your response is always all yours. i hope you take the high road. don’t let their decisions affect your behavior. stay true to your soul. i like to be able to lay in bed at night, replaying all of today’s scenes and smile at the fact that i wouldn’t have done a single thing differently. i believe people deserve kindness, especially when they are not able to give it out themselves. i hope you are kind. i hope you look at people in the face and smile at them when they pass you by. and stranger, try to make someone else’s life a little bit brighter.
what i hope for you stranger, is a life that is simple. one that is not cluttered by unnecessary things. like judgments, expectations, and bitterness. a life that is not about material items, but rather, experiences. i hope your life is simple in that you find you have everything you need with what you already have. don’t complicate it with too many details. i hope it’s not cluttered with clothes.gadgets.purses.stuff. because the thing about it is, these material items always keep you wanting more. you have enough stranger, you have enough.
i wish you heartache and love and difficult days. i wish you disappointments and failures. i hope you get lost when you are in a hurry and find a way to practice patience. i wish you sunshine on rainy days and cloudy days that are beautiful. i hope your life is full of lessons and that you learn from them all. i wish you a life that gives you wrinkles, those beautiful marks, indicators of time. i wish you foods full of flavor and days full of challenges. i hope you never have everything you want, but that you always have everything you need. i wish you good days and bad days and smiles through tears. i wish you a life that is full. i wish you surprises and excitement, sadness and hurt. i wish it all for you.
these may be strange things to wish upon someone, but i just want you to experience life in it’s entirety.
This is a blog i found while roaming the net and it really is such a beautiful piece of writing. I have highlighted the parts that stood out for me. I hope that this inspires you too.
"Everyday, think as you wake up, ‘Today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can.’ "
– Instead, focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right. 30 Things to stop doing
"Take
a look at yourself in a mirror. Who do you see looking back? Is it the person
you want it to be? Or is there someone you were meant to be, but fell short of?
Is someone telling you that you can’t or won’t be that person? But don’t
believe them, because you can. Believe that love is out there. Sometimes
happiness doesn't come from money or fame or power. Sometimes happiness comes
from good friends and family and the quiet nobility of leading a good life. So
take a good look at that mirror and remind yourself to be happy, because you
deserve to be. Believe that. And believe that dreams come true every day.
Because they do."
On the first page of the poster, I included some of the things I enjoy doing, such as reading, writing, cooking and baking, dancing, spending time with friends. 
The last page included my aspirations, hopes and dreams. As you can see, this was quite a mouthful. But I am glad that I had the chance to share this with the group.
