I knew exactly what love looked like
in seventh grade.
Even though I hadn’t met love yet
if Love had wondered into my homeroom,
I would’ve recognized him at first glance.
Love wore a hemp necklace.
I would’ve recognized her at first glance.
Love wore a tight french braid.
Love played acoustic guitar,
and knew all my favorite Beatles songs.
Love wasn’t afraid to ride the bus with me.
And I knew,
I just must be searching the wrong classrooms;
just must be checking the wrong hallways.
She was there, I was sure of it.
If only I could find him.
But when Love finally showed up,
She had a bowl cut.
He wore the same clothes every day for a week.
Love hated the bus.
Love didn’t know anything about the Beatles.
Instead,
Everytime I tried to kiss Love,
our teeth got in the way.
Love became the reason I lied to my parents.
I’m going to… Ben’s house
Love had terrible rhythm on the dance floor,
but made sure we never missed a slow song.
Love waited by the phone,
because she knew if her father picked up
it would be, (heavy breathing)
“Hello, hello… I guess they hang up.”
And Love grew…
Stretched like a trampoline.
Love changed.
Love disappeared
slowly, like baby teeth
losing parts of me I thought I needed.
Love vanished like an amateur magician,
everyone could see the trapdoor but me.
Like a flat tire,
there were other places I had planned on going
but my plans didn’t matter.
Love stayed away for years.
And when Love finally reappeared,
I barely recognized him.
Love smelled different now,
had darker eyes,
a broader back.
Love came with freckles I didn’t recognize,
new birthmarks,
a softer voice.
Now there were new sleeping patterns,
new favorite books.
Love had songs that reminded him of someone else;
songs Love didn’t like to listen to.
So did I.
But we found a park bench that fit us perfectly.
We found jokes that make us laugh.
And now Love makes me fresh homemade chocolate cookies.
But Love will probably finish most of them for a midnight snack.
Love looks great in lingerie but still likes to wear her retainer.
Love is a terrible driver but a great navigator.
Love knows where she’s going,
it just might take her two hours longer than she planned.
Love is messier now;
not as simple.
Love uses the word ‘boobs’ in front of my parents.
Love chews too loudly.
Love leaves the cap off the toothpaste.
Love uses smiley faces in her text messages
And turns out,
Love shits.
But Love also cries.
And Love will tell you, “You are beautiful.”
And mean it.
Over and over again,
“You are beautiful.”
When you first wake up,
“You are beautiful.”
When you’ve just been crying,
“You are beautiful.”
When you don’t want to hear it,
“You are beautiful.”
When you don’t believe it,
“You are beautiful.”
When nobody else will tell you,
“You are beautiful.”
Love still thinks,
“You are beautiful.”
But love is not perfect,
and will sometimes forget,
when you need to hear it most,
“You are beautiful.”
Do not forget this.
Love is not who you are expecting.
Love is not what you can predict.
Maybe Love is in New York City,
already asleep.
You are in California, Australia,
wide awake.
Maybe Love is always in the wrong timezone.
Maybe Love is not ready for you.
Maybe you are not ready for Love.
Maybe Love just isn’t the marrying type.
Maybe the next time you see Love is twenty years after the divorce.
Love looks older now but just as beautiful as you remember.
Maybe Love is only there for a month.
Maybe Love is there for every firework,
every birthday party,
every hospital visit.
Maybe Love stays.
Maybe Love can’t.
Maybe Love shouldn’t.
Love arrives exactly when Love is supposed to.
And Love leaves exactly when Love must.
When Love arrives,
say, “Welcome, make yourself comfortable.”
If Love leaves,
ask her to leave the door open behind her,
turn off the music,
listen to the quiet,
whisper, “Thank you for stopping by.”
-Sarah and Phil Kay(e)
I absolutely adore this spoken word. I heard it for the first time over a year ago, at a time where I was struggling to let go of a relationship. I cried so many times listening to it, every time noticing something more that stood out for me. It highlighted most of the things that I thought love was, and what I expected it to be.
But it made me realise that love is never exactly what you expect it to be. And that there are a million different ways to love someone. I also realised that it was indeed possible to love more than one person in your life time. It helped me let go of the bitterness and just accept the relationship for what it was, and nothing more.
Every now and again, I listen to it, to remind me that even though love seems so far away, it may be closer than you think. But in the mean time, I know not to dwell on what is not, or what could be, but to rather just enjoy everything that is, in the moment.
More poetry from these two inspirational poets:
- An Origin Story
- Long Distance Love
