Saturday, 1 February 2014

Saying my goodbyes

My mother drove down to Cape Town to fetch me. I packed up all my things. Everything that I have accumulated over the past 5 years. I had to get rid of a lot. All my files, notes – all the hours of work that I spent studying and making diagrams. All thrown into the bin. Wasted.

But I can’t hold on to all these things that will just collect dust and only remind me of the past. I need to move on and open up my life to new opportunities.

Leaving campus was difficult. It broke my heart to say goodbye to my friends who have helped me so much over the past couple of days. I will forever be grateful. They are truly amazing. I was sobbing as we drove away. I guess it was finally setting in. I left the place that had been my home for so long. I said goodbye to the people that have become family.

Their words have helped me stay strong. The tears that filled their eyes as they cried with me has shown me, for the first time, how much I mean to them. I appreciate their love more than words can say. I will miss them with all my heart.

My friend, MCK, prayed for me earlier today as well. It was beautiful. Her words of encouragement were to come back home and not be afraid to keep my light shining brightly, and to not hide it away. She told me that she has seen how I have grown over the years that we have known each other. She has no doubt in her mind that there is a greater reason why I have been called home. She reminded me once again of Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Now I am free to go where ever my heart will lead me. I am free to explore all the depths of my soul. I am unchained, with all the time in the world.

Of course it will not be easy to deal with the world – answering their questions, listening to their opinions about my situation. But I accept that it may be difficult for them to understand, they don’t know all that I have been going through.

But I choose to not allow any negativity into my heart.  I choose to focus only on what will make me stronger. Words of wisdom that will inspire or enlighten me. And I will commit to loving every second of my life, my experiences and the journey up ahead.

My past will not define me. My past has laid down a foundation for my future.

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