"You know, the right guy won’t change you. He won’t subtly pressure you. He won’t tell you who you can and can’t talk to about the two of you. He won’t hide the fact that you’re hanging out. He’s not gonna tell you you’re wrong for feeling…for being a girl. The right guy will show you off to his friends. He’ll take it as slow as you want. He’ll only go as far as you’re comfortable with. He’ll take you out to places, even if it’s just a fast food place or the store. He’ll actually sit through your stupid girly movies with you because he wants to watch them with you. The right guy will come along someday, you just gotta tough it out and wait for him. But whatever you do, don’t settle. You deserve so much more."
So many people tried to tell me this before. But I was too involved to listen. I knew in my heart that I deserved more, but at the time I guess I thought that we were too young for more. We had fun together and he loved me. That was all that mattered.
But no! Even if we weren't planning to get married or spent the rest of our lives together, our relationship shouldn't have been kept from his friends. If he couldn't be man enough to stand up for who he loves, then he should at least have saved us both the time and ended things. Instead of let me believe that it was ok.
I know it’s not all his fault. I stood by and let it happen. I made excuses for him and defended him. Afraid to hurt his feelings by telling him how I felt. So I can't blame him for wanting things both ways. And I can’t blame myself for falling in love.
It was right when it started. It just went on for too long. But I know that God brought him into my life for a reason. And it all may not be clear right now. But I know that I am stronger for it. I am ready to forgive him. And ready to forgive myself.
The past is the past. He has moved on and found someone else to love. One day, so will I. ♥