Thursday, 21 June 2012

My mountain to climb

This past holiday/ time off I have stood at the foot of my mountain and watched the days go by.  Sometimes I would gather the courage to try going up on one path, but I'd get distracted along the way and venture off. Every now and again I'd make some progress. But sometimes I'd find myself going in circles, stuck at an obstacle, "put off by the weather" or too taken up by a new distraction.

The time spent at home has been good, but looking back, I can't account for all of it.

And this seems to be a recurring theme with me. So while taking time off might sound like something I need to do, I feel that I would only end up at the same place as I am now after my time has passed.

I think it is important to stop trying to make my life lighter or simpler. I need to accept that my life is, and always will be complicated. And there is nothing wrong with that.

I have also realised that I don't adapt to changes in my plans too well. For example, I had a plan in my mind of what I hoped my time at home would be like, but things didn't turn out exactly that way. And as much as I love being home, it can be a little discouraging sometimes. I know that I should make the most of it, and use it as inspiration to change things, but knowing something isn't the same as doing it.

I really did love the mountain metaphor from my mentor, and it sums up everything perfectly. So, now all that's left is for me to keep on walking up my mountain with my block and trust that at some point I will get another chance to sort through it.

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