Sitting here, I'm at a loss for words. Or maybe it’s just because I’m holding back. I have been building up a wall around all my emotions to try and keep them in. I guess that I am scared of what may be released if I let it all out. I need to be in control. Without control I will be left vulnerable - and that’s the last thing that I want to be. I can’t afford to fall apart.
Falling apart will take time and energy to put everything back together again; time that I don’t have, and energy that could be best used elsewhere.
For now, I think it will be best to just give it all up. Let God take care of all these issues that surround me. I still believe that everything will work out. I think I just need to remember that our time may not be God’s time – meaning that even though we feel that something has to happen now, God has an even better time schedule and plan for us.
So, as I have been telling most of my friends lately, I just need to hang in there, let go and let God...