Saturday, 31 May 2014

Update: Keeping busy

So I have been keeping myself busy by trying to knit/crochet over the past couple of days and I am finally getting somewhere! I started using circular needles to make an infinity scarf. I’ll post a picture when it’s all done. J It feels good to be able to create; to make something useful and pretty.

I know that it has been a while since I last posted but there were some battles that were being fought that needed internal processing before I could express them. I think that the inspiration to write has once again returned, so I’ll post some of my journal entries from the past month later.

F* said that he would call today, but then he postponed it until tomorrow. Apparently he has something that he wants to tell me. I’m guessing it’s that he’s started seeing someone. I mean, that’s the only reason I can think of that would make him announce it like that. He hasn’t really been chatting the last month or so and I think that he’s been keeping me at a distance.

Yes, yes, he’s been busy studying and it’s really important and stressful and hectic…. And that is an excellent excuse reason to not communicate…. AND I would be completely unreasonable for wanting to speak to a friend to see how things are going, other than on his terms… but whatev’s right, I am building a bridge...

Initially I had some mixed feelings, but if his updated relationship status is the big news then I will be happy for him. Honestly and truly. He deserves happiness just like the rest of us. And I have decided that I will not make a big deal about any of my feelings about the silence. I am learning that I can’t always expect people to deal with things the way I want them to. He has been dealing with his life the best way that he knows how, and confiding in me, just wasn’t something he felt he needed. It could possibly be as simple as that. So, no hard feelings here.

Other than that, things have been quiet, with the usual family chaos. I guess this is a good thing. At least we have a reasonably stable life. Stability is good. Stability is what some people look for all their lives…. I am grateful for all that I have been blessed with.

I hope anyone reading this has been well. I hope to hear from you soon. J
Take care xx

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