I have been avoiding this blog like the plague. There are many reasons, but mainly because I just wasn't feeling up to expressing all the thoughts that were going through my mind. I put my blinders on and just wanted to get through this year. I was feeling overwhelmed with my life, and very uninspired. But this week the inspiration has slowly been seeping back into my bones and has taken over my heart once again.
And I must admit, it is a really good feeling.
Another reason I couldn't write was because I was getting over someone that I really cared about. It has finally sunken in that he didn't have the same regard for our friendship as I did. I was struggling to understand how things could have changed so drastically between us in just a year. Every word I wrote spilled his name all across my page.
I was uncertain if he was even still reading my blog and I didn't want him in my mind, whilst I was still oblivious as to what was going through his. I didn't want him to know how much he really hurt me. But I have now moved on. There are too many things in my life to worry about. He will not be one of them.
To be honest, I still miss him sometimes. But life goes on. I have come to understand and accept that I am the type of person that doesn't let go of someone very easily. As cliché as this may sound; I love with every fibre of my being. No matter what kind of relationship we have. And this is OK.
So, wherever he is, I hope that he is happy and doing well.
Aside from that, I have been living in my own bubble for the past few months. But I have made a couple really cool friends, and things have started looking up a little for next year. There are still some hard decisions to make, but this year is almost over. I can’t believe it!