Time passes

Idly staring into space,

Time passes.

Slipping out from my grasp.

Drifting further and further away from me.

Time I can never get back.

I should do something. React in some way.

But here I stand.

Frozen,

Crippled by fear.

Disconnected from this reality.

Tears slowly running down my face, unnoticed.

Barely holding myself together,

Just moments from falling apart.

But Time waits for no one.
-N.M-

Everyone wants to escape sometimes

Birthday wishes

A birthday message from one of my close friends, that I hope to never forget. 

"Happiest of birthdays vriendin*

I'm sure you can forgive me for being half an hour late to the party but you must understand I simply forgot... Luckily for me, this holds no bearing on the quality of our relationship which you should no to be a cut above the rest.

Perhaps you don't know this and I accept full responsibility for I do not let you know enough just how special you are to me and how much you mean. Your personality is endearing and is the ribbon that perfectly ties up and holds the many intricacies you as a person has to offer.

I know you love your birthday, even though I think you might love it too much.. and so I hope that your day was exactly that, your day. And that you received and were blessed abundantly by pure joy and showered with wishes from your nearest and dearests. Much the same as I have attempted to do. 

You're far more blessed than millions of others and hopefully one day you will realise this, on the small chance you haven't already. 

Furthermore,  you are a light to many people and I can only pray you remain this way because your energy had brought me out of such dark waters on more than one occasion. And I am most confident I am not the only one who has been graced by your prowess.

I love you to the ends and back*

-F

Happy moments

1. Had tea with one of my best friends. She brought little treats! :)
2. Finally did some laundry! Even though i had to carry it to another res... but managed to catch up with a another one of my best friends at the same time. 2 birds, 1 stone :D
3. Went to church. And God gave me the opportunity to be a blessing in someones life as they renewed their commitment to Christ.
4. Had ice-cream and a brownie <3 - food is my weakness.. Sigh!
5. Made Naan bread and they came out really nicely
6. Spoke to my mother. I miss home so much. But only 3 days until i get there for my self-made mini holiday/weekend break! (Gotta take every gap that you can find in medical school...)
All in all, not a bad day. Praise be to God!

Life can sometimes really get you down

Sometimes find myself in tears, not really knowing why.

Everything should be fine.

But there always seems to be something that is just not quite right.

I go through every day wishing and longing for something that seems to be missing. This is puzzling, because I have all that I need. I no longer have major financial problems, and my mother recently got her job back. I have a great group of friends. I'm getting more and more involved in church and at our campus fellowship gatherings.

So why does it still sometimes feel as if I am losing control of my life?

My academics just keep getting the better of me. Studying feels impossible. It is a miracle that I have been passing so far this semester.

I am terrified of upcoming exams. I'm afraid I am going to mess everything up and have to repeat another year. I feel crippled some times, as if my mind is blocked off.

So many times I have heard that I just need to hold on to hope and walk with God, because in our weakness His strength is made perfect. There is no problem too big for His grace. I truly believe this. I pray for the strength to keep holding on and turning to His word. He loves me and He will never let me go.

A friend of mine is also struggling with her negativity and trying to overcome it by writing down 4 things that truly make her happy each day. I want to start doing this too. I believe that miracles happen every second, but I sometimes find that I hardly notice them because my eyes are blinded to all the good and tend to focus on all my shortcomings.

I want to enter into a season of relentless positivity in all aspects of my life. I want my mind to be changed from its very core, deep in my soul. My life is worth so much more than I give myself credit for.