Sometimes find myself in tears, not really knowing why.
Everything should be fine.
But there always seems to be something that is just not quite right.
I go through every day wishing and longing for something that seems to be missing. This is puzzling, because I have all that I need. I no longer have major financial problems, and my mother recently got her job back. I have a great group of friends. I'm getting more and more involved in church and at our campus fellowship gatherings.
So why does it still sometimes feel as if I am losing control of my life?
My academics just keep getting the better of me. Studying feels impossible. It is a miracle that I have been passing so far this semester.
I am terrified of upcoming exams. I'm afraid I am going to mess everything up and have to repeat another year. I feel crippled some times, as if my mind is blocked off.
So many times I have heard that I just need to hold on to hope and walk with God, because in our weakness His strength is made perfect. There is no problem too big for His grace. I truly believe this. I pray for the strength to keep holding on and turning to His word. He loves me and He will never let me go.
A friend of mine is also struggling with her negativity and trying to overcome it by writing down 4 things that truly make her happy each day. I want to start doing this too. I believe that miracles happen every second, but I sometimes find that I hardly notice them because my eyes are blinded to all the good and tend to focus on all my shortcomings.
I want to enter into a season of relentless positivity in all aspects of my life. I want my mind to be changed from its very core, deep in my soul. My life is worth so much more than I give myself credit for.