Saturday, 7 September 2013

Life can sometimes really get you down

Sometimes find myself in tears, not really knowing why.
Everything should be fine.
But there always seems to be something that is just not quite right.

I go through every day wishing and longing for something that seems to be missing. This is puzzling, because I have all that I need. I no longer have major financial problems, and my mother recently got her job back. I have a great group of friends. I'm getting more and more involved in church and at our campus fellowship gatherings.

So why does it still sometimes feel as if I am losing control of my life?
My academics just keep getting the better of me. Studying feels impossible. It is a miracle that I have been passing so far this semester.

I am terrified of upcoming exams. I'm afraid I am going to mess everything up and have to repeat another year. I feel crippled some times, as if my mind is blocked off.

So many times I have heard that I just need to hold on to hope and walk with God, because in our weakness His strength is made perfect. There is no problem too big for His grace. I truly believe this. I pray for the strength to keep holding on and turning to His word. He loves me and He will never let me go.

A friend of mine is also struggling with her negativity and trying to overcome it by writing down 4 things that truly make her happy each day. I want to start doing this too. I believe that miracles happen every second, but I sometimes find that I hardly notice them because my eyes are blinded to all the good and tend to focus on all my shortcomings.

I want to enter into a season of relentless positivity in all aspects of my life. I want my mind to be changed from its very core, deep in my soul. My life is worth so much more than I give myself credit for.

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