My heart is breaking, and yet it doesn't make a sound..

In one moment, I gave myself away.

I would give anything to go back and change that night.

But I can’t undo what has been done.  

I have to live with this for the rest of my life.

I have to come to terms with it.

I always imagined that my very first time would be special. Like something out of the movies... Like a fairy tale...

I promised to hold on until I found the one with whom I would spend the rest of my life. And I was so determined to guard myself; never give in to temptation.  I knew what my boundaries were and I stood firmly for what I believed in.

I still can't believe that it happened. A blurry haze of something I wish to forever forget. Maybe if I try hard enough, eventually I will. But I guess there is a lesson to be learnt here.

Surely I should feel something, right? But there is nothing here. 

My heart is breaking, and yet it doesn't make a sound.

I'm just still trying to figure it all out.