Unsent letter: Your siblings

To my beautiful sisters

You mean the world to me. And nothing could ever change that. I am so grateful that I was chosen to be apart of your lives. I know that sometimes I might get under your skin and get really annoying but most of the time I don’t mean to be that way. I just try to make things easier for mum. 

I know its different  now that I'm home. We all keep getting in each others way. But we are growing up, and we won't be living like this for much longer. 

I wish things were different for us, but we cant control the hand that we have been dealt in life. we just have to make the most of it. It hasn't been easy, but i believe that you are both destined to be great. so don't sweat the small stuff now. This is all preparing you for future greatness.

Little sister, 
I wish that you would tell me what burdens your heart, and why you shut us all out the way that you do. I mean you no harm. But i worry about you. and i can feel your hatred. I just can't figure out who it's directed at, or what caused it. I hope that in time you will let me in to your world. 

Don't ever think that i will judge you for anything that you do. I will always be here for you. You just need to let me know. 

The greatest moments are when we laugh together. You have a great sense of humour. I hope you know that. And every time you smile, the sun shines a little brighter.

Middle one,
Thank you for all your words of wisdom over the past few years. I have come to appreciate your insights and the way you perceive the world to be. Thank you for listening to my endless drama and for giving your best advice, even though i sometimes struggle to follow it... 

i know that we tend to clash some times. i think my personality can sometimes take up the whole room. i can see how that can get in the way . 

you are so strong. so determined and ambitious. i admire this. you are going to be an amazing lawyer. your heart will save so many. 

I look forward  to what the future has to offer, and to living this life with the both of you. 

Much love, 
Rainb0w

10/03/14

Unsent letter: Someone not in your state/country

Dear B*

You were always meant to leave for Britain
and meet the man of your dreams.
This suits you perfectly. 
I am happy for you and so extremely proud. 
You have come such a long way.

Life has never been easy for you, 
but you are one of the strongest people that I know.

We've drifted apart now, but thanks for still making an effort to see me while you were still here. It meant a lot. 

I hope your life is everything that you dreamed it would be. 

All my love and best wishes,

Rainbow

Your Crush

Dear KCT...

It’s like my heart has broken free,

From the chains that have been restraining it.

And once again it is filled with all the fuzziness I thought I had lost.

The briefest handshake was all it took to help me believe in the potential of love again.

I look forward to getting to know you better.

xxx

Rainbow ♥

The Person you wish you could be...

Dear Future Me, 

A truly good wife is the most precious treasure a man can find!

Her husband depends on her, and she never lets him down.
She is good to him every day of her life, 

and with her own hands she gladly makes clothes.

She is like a sailing ship that brings food from across the sea.
She gets up before daylight to prepare food for her family and for her servants.
She knows how to buy land and how to plant a vineyard, 

and she always works hard.
She knows when to buy or sell, and she stays busy until late at night.
She spins her own cloth, and she helps the poor and the needy.
Her family has warm clothing, and so she doesn’t worry when it snows.
She does her own sewing, and everything she wears is beautiful.

Her husband is a well-known and respected leader in the city.
She makes clothes to sell to the shop owners.
She is strong and graceful, as well as cheerful about the future.
Her words are sensible, and her advice is thoughtful.
She takes good care of her family and is never lazy.
Her children praise her, and with great pride her husband says,

“There are many good women, but you are the best!”

Charm can be deceiving, and beauty fades away, 

but a woman who honours the Lord deserves to be praised.

Proverbs 31:10-31 

I want to believe that you are the very description of the above scripture, for there is no greater praise or honour than to be a strong and courageous mother and woman of God. I know that the journey has not been easy and that you may have had to give up a lot of things to get here. But looking forward to the future from where I am now, I see that only this would be completely fulfilling. In addition to this, I trust that you are also still a respectable doctor, making a difference in whatever small way that you could find. 

I have doubted myself for such a long time, but you will be proof, to no one but myself, that I am capable of achieving all these things. 

I hope that you always remember where you have come from, and all the blessings that have brought you to where you are now. 

Thank you for never giving up on our dreams. 

Love, Rainbow

Someone you drifted away from

Dear Nicole,

We've known each other for the longest time, and even though we were once as close as can be, we seem to have drifted further and further apart over the years.

We became friends at a time when we both needed each other, for so many different reasons. I will never forget the random, crazy and wonderful moments that we shared together. 

But as we grew, our lives started to move in different directions. I moved away from home and the distance made things worse. I really did try to keep in contact, but our relationship hardly ever returned to what it once was. 

I still remember that day you called me, desperately seeking help. I was going about my life as usual, while your whole world came crashing down around you. I know that you needed me to be there for you, but there was no way that I could. I had lived a completely protected childhood, unaware or naive to the cruelty of the world. There was absolutely no way that I could have understood anything that you were going through. You needed more than I could ever offer. 

I don’t mean to bring up the past. I just thought you should know that it was not because I didn't care.

And even though it has been a couple of years since I saw you last, I know that you have grown into a strong young woman.

So all that I will say, is that you will always be in my prayers and I believe that when the time is right for both of us, our paths will cross once again. 

Take care my friend,

 *Rainbow

Unsent Letter: Your ex

Dear Guji,

I know that its been many months now, 

but from the bottom of my heart, 

i just want to wish you happiness. 

May you be true to yourself 

and find the love that you are looking for. 

Rainbow

The last person you kissed

Dear N*,

A year ago we were just acquaintances, two people put in the same place at the same time. That first kiss happened unexpectedly and even though it wasn’t intentional, I wouldn’t change any of it. It may not have started a great romance between us, but it was the beginning of a friendship, that I wouldn't change for the world.

We were both in difficult places in our lives, with school and studies tumbling down around us, and I had ended a relationship that I was trying to get over. You understood that. You were there when I really needed someone to talk to and someone to notice me.

I never really knew how you actually felt about me, but I guess I am sort of glad about that. We kept things simple. Because complicated was the last thing that either of us needed.

A part of me wishes that our relationship could have been more than what it was, but, if I am really honest, I know that starting one with you would have been for all the wrong reasons. And you deserve to be with someone that will love you the way that you deserve to be loved.

Thank you for giving the best hugs and a shoulder to lean on when needed.

See you around,  J

Rainbow

The one that broke your heart

Dear Guji,

This letter has taken me some time to write. I guess I just couldn't find the right words to say to sum up all my emotions. I think at first I was trying to just move on. I honestly believed that our break up was mutual and that we could still one day be friends. But after a few months, and after hearing the way you spoke about me to J, and after you started seeing someone else, I realised that I am, in fact, angry. 

Firstly, I need to say that I’m happy for you. You found exactly what you always wanted - A girl that no one can judge you for being in love with.

But at the same time, I am just so angry at myself for being hurt. I’m getting over you. And I know that our relationship wasn’t working anymore. For many more reasons, other than just the distance. I just can’t help wishing that I didn't wait that long to realise it. And I wish that you could have owned up to the way you really felt. I didn’t realise this, but I felt so inferior to your family and to your friends. I doubted myself in so many ways. 

I got so used to guarding your feelings that I ended up hurting myself in the process.

After all the bullshit you told me about not being able to have what you want and that it would be so difficult for you to move on from me. How could I have believed you so easily?

You hurt me. Damn. You hooking up with a million other girls would have hurt less than this. It feels almost as if you were ashamed of our relationship - ashamed of me. And the worst thing is that it’s almost as if I never existed in your life.

It took me some time to realise this, but I deserve much more than the relationship that we had. 

I know that in the beginning I told you that it wouldn't matter, but I honestly thought that our cultural differences wouldn't affect us. I guess I was lying to you as much as I was lying to myself. 

All those empty promises mean nothing to me anymore, and the last thing that I want to be, is your friend. I am not bitter or resentful. You deserve to find happiness, and one day, I will too. 

Rainbow

Someone deceased you wish you could talk to

Dear Mish,

I still think of you. I think of the life that you have lost. So suddenly. So unexpectedly. I know that it has been a few years already, but I wish that you were still around. Would you have respected me and been proud of the person that I have become?

I will never forget that day, March 17th 2006. We were so close, yet so far, and far too late. 

You were almost like the big brother I never had. I remember that time when you stayed with us for a few months. You were so confident - so sure of yourself; almost to a fault. I know that we argued a lot, but I think it was mostly because of our stubborn personalities that tended to clash. You may not have known this, but I looked up to you.

I wish that I could have gotten to know you better. Maybe things would have turned out differently for both of us. I know that you had a difficult life growing up. But you were so close to becoming the independent young man that you were working so hard towards. We were all so proud.

Your family still needs you. You’re mother still mourns you. Their lives have never been the same. I don’t think there is a day that goes by that doesn’t hurt just a little – even though they are doing the best that they can.

Sometimes life isn’t fair. Things happen that cannot be explained. But we just have to trust in God’s reasoning. He knows what is best. I pray that your soul is at peace.

I wish that I had gotten the chance to tell you this sooner, but I love you cuz. I will always remember that cocky smile of yours. The one that made all the girls’ hearts melt...

You will always be in my heart. ♥

                   Rainbow