It wasn't just a dream

Have you ever experienced something
so wonderful: -
so brief and fleeting;
all consuming,
that took up so much space in your mind and heart
and that was such a big deal in that moment?

But then when you think about it later;
a few hours,
a few days, 
a month,
or a year,

you wonder if it ever even happened at all?

it is inevitable

I’m afraid of growing up,

but time keeps aging me. 

I want to scream STOP! -

but there's no slowing it down.

It is inevitable

that life goes on.

No matter how many nights

you cry yourself to sleep,

life goes on.

-N.M- 

I just wish to suppress this anxiety

i just wish to suppress this anxiety long enough to breathe;

if only for a second.

the future is daunting, and time is closing in.

My patience is fading and the pressure is mounting. 

i don't know what to do to lift this shadow 

that clouds my mind and renders all thoughts negative and cynical.

i am left here helpless, in despair. 

Quote: The time will pass anyway

Time is still the enemy

I’m tired of being all up in my head. I just don’t want to think so much. I know that this is the process I need to go through to figure stuff out, but the more I look into future career options, the more overwhelmed I get.

 I'm terrified about being rejected again. I'm terrified about making the wrong decisions. I'm terrified of staying in the exact same place that I am right now. But I’m also afraid of settling for something that will leave me feeling miserable for the rest of my life. But saying that makes me feel a little dramatic. Sometimes I feel as if trying to be happy, or trying to find a place that I will be happy is just like I’m running on a great big race track that just goes round and round in a circle – I’m never truly going forward.

I know that sometimes we just have to take risks and see what happens. I have nothing to lose but time, right?

But, Time is still the enemy, and I don’t know how to make nice. We don’t even have to be the best of friends, but it certainly would help if we got along with each other. I feel like this Time just keeps walking all over me; and I let it. 

Time passes

Idly staring into space,

Time passes.

Slipping out from my grasp.

Drifting further and further away from me.

Time I can never get back.

I should do something. React in some way.

But here I stand.

Frozen,

Crippled by fear.

Disconnected from this reality.

Tears slowly running down my face, unnoticed.

Barely holding myself together,

Just moments from falling apart.

But Time waits for no one.
-N.M-

Time...

it passes by like a rushing rapid crashing down a water bank.