Sitting here, I'm at a loss for
words. Or maybe it’s just because I’m holding back. I have been building up a
wall around all my emotions to try and keep them in. I guess that I am scared
of what may be released if I let it all out. I need to be in control. Without
control I will be left vulnerable - and that’s the last thing that I want to be.
I can’t afford to fall apart.
Falling apart will take time and
energy to put everything back together again; time that I don’t have, and energy that
could be best used elsewhere.
For now, I think it will be best to just give
it all up. Let God take care of all these issues that surround me. I still believe
that everything will work out. I think I just need to remember that our time
may not be God’s time – meaning that even though we feel that something has to
happen now, God has an even better time schedule and plan for us.
So, as I have been telling most
of my friends lately, I just need to hang in there, let go and let God...
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