I try to be better....

Another month has come and gone, and I still feel as though I'm standing in exactly the same place I was last month. 

I try to be better, but these changes don’t stick. I'm falling deeper and deeper into my own darkness. I know that I should pull myself out of this and start moving on with my life, but sometimes it just hurts too much.

I've lost my dreams and I don’t know what to want any more. I hate that everything is just so difficult. I just want my life to be easy. I want things to happen the way that they are supposed to. 

I don’t want to be this person anymore - weak, afraid and uncertain about who she is. How can I be this unhappy? I am exhausted by my endless days and by my own inadequacy.